Homostasis (Why production houses need to stop pumping LGBTQ+ friendly content down our throats.)

The title is not a typo! It is just a not-so-clever attempt to hint as to what I’ll be discussing in this article –

Homeostasis (ho-mee-oh-stah-sis) – Balance between different independent and unlike elements.
Homosexuality – sexual interest in and attraction to members of one’s own sex.
Recently, I was part of a not so bizarre incident that sent my thoughts spiraling and it’s solely the reason why I might be writing this. Let me elaborate.
About a week ago, I was minding my own business during this lockdown by staring at my phone screen and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram (like a basic bitch). The television was on and my mother, grandmother (Boomers, I mean.) were relishing the daily dose of irrelevant news.
During the ad break, a peculiar ad showed up.
The show ‘Four more shots’ is gracing us with another season, and zoomers are moderately excited, I guess. I haven’t seen the show so pardon my judgemental tone. The ad contained scenes of a homosexual (Lesbian) couple making out and getting married, normal people stuff but with the same gender (Shouldn’t be a big deal, right?)
Here’s how the next few seconds sounded like –

Mom– ‘yeh kya dikha rahe hai aaj kal tv pe?’ (What kind of stuff do they show on the television nowadays?)
Grandma– ‘Yeh kya hai, Do ladkiyon ki shaadi ho rahi hai? Kaise?’ (Wait, how are two women getting married to each other.)
Mom– ‘Yeh kya ho gaya hai iss duniya ko. Ladke kam pad gaye kya?’ (What has this world come to. Are we running short on men in the world?)
Grandma– ‘Hamare time pe aisa nahi hota tha. Shaadi ke baad kya karte hai yeh log?’ (This never happened during our times. What do they even do after getting married?)
Mom– *changing the channel as soon as a kissing scene comes on*
Tauba Tauba, yeh kaise dikha rahe hai tv pe? Normal cheezein nahi dikha sakte?’ (Oh my god, Can’t they show normal scenes on the television?)
Me (the not so favourite son) – ‘Kya! Aap ko normal kissing scenes dekhna hai tv pe? Yeh kya bol rahe ho aap?’ (What! Do you want to see normal kissing scenes on the television?)
Mom– ‘Zyada bol mat beta, Nani ko jaane de, fir dekhti hoon tujhe’ (Bitch, You better shut the fuck up)
Me– ‘Aapko pata hai do ladki ek dusre se shaadi kyu karte hai? Voh hisaab se ek dusre ko dehej nahi dena padega na!’ (Girls marry each other to avoid dowry)

Mom– *hold my beer moment with nani*

Here are a few gifs astutely portraying what ensued.

As you might have inferred from the anecdote above, my parents aren’t comfortable with homosexuality or anything closely related to it. It is a part of our ‘Sanskaar(culture) to be married to a person of the opposite gender.
I’m not going to explain the dynamics of homosexuality or point out the intricacies of sexual orientation in this article. Nor am I going to complain about my mother not being comfortable with homosexuality. I’m here to complain about the production houses that are flooding all the streaming sites and cinemas with ‘Homosexuality as a gimmick.

Production houses and the media need to stop shoving LGBTQ+ friendly content down our throats.

Yes, I said it. Now before you grab your lighted mashals and arrive at my doorstep in protest (or call me your best friend because you think I’m as homophobic as you.), let me explain.

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Analysis of a money-hungry production house

Here a few questions that I ask myself when I’m trying to think critically.

Are their intentions right?

Considering production houses and media as a single entity, it seems evident that their intentions are in the right place. A surge in LGBTQ+ content will make the people more aware, more open and help those who seem to be struggling with their own sexual identity. Production houses understand that and have the power to bring about a change.
Let all the fake news and propaganda stand as testimony to the power of media. Media is powerful and with the right intentions, it can be utilized to bring about a massive shift or change in the mindsets of people.
“Why are you still complaining then, Faaiz?”
Let me continue my analysis please, stop being so impatient for god’s sake.

Do they earn a lot of money through this kind of content?

Yes, and no.
It depends on the target demographic. It depends on the type of content. It depends on the country that content is being released in. Trust me, ‘Call me by your name’ wasn’t a blockbuster hit in Saudi Arabia.
But if we single out streaming sites, I do believe that production houses earn more as compared to other vanilla content. Also, let’s not kid ourselves. Lesbian content is totally going to earn a lot more than any other type of content, which puts our priorities as homo sapiens in place.
‘Four more shots’ more like ‘Four more seasons of raunchy lesbian stuff please.’
But jokes apart, a lot of things factor in while calculating the earnings of this kind of content. But based solely on relevance, Yes, This kind of content will earn more.

Is the content good?

Yes, and no. Hell no.
Let ALTbalaji stand as testimony to the garbage content out there.

I’ll elaborate on the other type below.

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Faaiz’s two cents on the topic, that needs to be taken with a spoonful of salt

The intention of a lot of these production houses is to help different cultures acclimate with the not so obscure topic of sexual orientation. The media intends to normalize homosexual behavior and tell the people that ‘homosexuals are normal, homosexuality is natural’ and we as a society need to accept that. Which is noble and laudable.

But the way these production houses go about it is not alright, which is why I am revolting against the surge of LGBTQ+ content everywhere.
Portraying a same-sex couple as normal in a TV show and not referring to how taboo it nevertheless is, is not the right approach in normalizing the topic. It’s like showing people a normal story about a sex worker going about his/her life and then expecting the audience to consider that as normal. People are however going to walk out of the theater as prejudiced against sex workers as they were formerly. The key to normalizing homosexuality is to portray a human approach to the story.
Expressing ‘Why’ does a person fall for or feel attracted to another person of the same sex is the key. The topic of sexual orientation needs to be addressed first. Sexual inclination and studying why a person, is the way he/she is, is important. Showing same-sex marriage in a story and not addressing the taboo that pervades the space between leaves the audience isolated, if not making them more repulsive to the topic. All the production houses intend to portray homosexual people as normal but forget that they need character development.
Addressing the motives, desires, and the mindset of a homosexual person is the key to normalizing him/her.

Here’s a thought experimient or a dare for the daredevils
Go to your parents and tell them, “I’m gay, Deal with it.
And would you be kind enough to record what ensues?

tenor
Now, what if, you took a more human approach to it.

What if you talked to your parents about how you felt different from others from a very young age?

What if you talked to them about how you couldn’t for the life of you, shed that infatuation?

What if you explained to them how ashamed you felt for this for years?

What if you explained how the toxicity outside is affecting you and not letting you live?

What if you explained the fact to them that there’s nothing different between liking a human of the same gender?

What if you sat them down, talked to them
about how if you could
change this one thing about yourself for them, you would.

But you can’t.

What if you revealed to them the only flaw that they likely cannot accept?

How would they now feel about their son/daughter being gay?

They would understand that it’s just a singular characteristic of the little person they gave birth to.

There are chances that they might still hate you for it, gag at the sight of you.
But deep down, your human approach made them look at homosexual people in a different light.

They now understand that a homosexual son/daughter is not different from a normal person, except for the minor gay part (Which is not the end of the world, to be honest.).

Humans are opinionated, and changing their approach or mindset through jarring content is the worst approach. It makes them defensive and repulsive and sometimes violent. It is in a way, analogous to the art of argument. Facts and figures won’t satisfy a skeptic, befriending him and accepting his/her opinion might be easier.
Movies like Moonlight, Blue is the warmest color, Call me by your name, Bohemian Rhapsody take a much more human approach to the topic. These movies didn’t consider homosexual people and their stories as entities that can be exploited for money. A more human approach was the key.
Hell, you want to see the contrast between a more human approach and cash-grab?

Look at the following posters and identify what movie/tv show has LGBTQ+ content in it.

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All of the movies shown above content LGBTQ+ content, as it’s evident, some production houses sexualize the content thus abandoning the righteous intentions.
Notwithstanding the genuine intentions, production houses still cannot let go of the money factor.
LGBTQ+ sensitive movies are extremely lucrative nowadays and production houses recognize that!
Slap a lesbian kissing scene on there and boom, you’ve got horny men tuning in just for those few minutes. Horny women too, maybe? Not trying to generalize here.
But you get the point.

LGBTQ+ content albeit being progressive is being exploited and production houses need to stop.Leave milking the cash cows to Disney.
Be original for god’s sake!

Normalizing sexual orientation and dissolving the taboo related to the LGBTQ+ will not be done by showing explicit scenes on TV and shocking cultured people like my mother.

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Footnote-
I haven’t seen ‘Four more shots’ and I am not accusing the show of any of the stuff I’ve mentioned above. For all I know, it might actually be progressive. I’ll enjoy forcing my mother to watch it then.

Thanks for reading this far. I appreciate the amount of attention you’ve given to this measly, mediocre article. You can go back to doing other important stuff know.
Feel free to hit me up if you want to talk about this topic further. 🙂
Feedback is also welcome and truly appreciated.
Ciao! ❤

Notifications will be the death of you.

Notifications are an ugly bunch. 

Do you get notified about the thousands of seconds that you wasted on Instagram? Do you get notified about how you’re looking at reality through a million pixels and filters? 

NO.

You get notified about the pretty filter uploaded on Instagram. Upon further investigation (By that I mean clicking on the notification and check out the picture.) you realize it’s actually a photo of a genuinely pretty girl, with an ungodly ugly filter. Or just an ugly gal with an ugly filter. 

You get notified about the likes you got on your recent picture. It’s all fun and games with dopamine until you ascertain the number of people who just scrolled by, or misclicked the photo.
But don’t you worry, Instagram won’t notify you of that. It cares about you, immensely (and the data you give it so willingly).

You get notified about a recent follower. You presumably have no answer as to why would you want someone following you, but Instagram says its a good thing, so it probably is.

Here’s a thought experiment, 

What if someone were to emulate your failures? Would you be worried? Would you be terrified to actually see the reality of yourself through your own eyes? Would you be amused?

You get notified about the picture Kathy just posted of her dog. What the dog has to do with the inspirational caption below is an enigma. But was it worth the 2 minutes? Let‘s agree, even the 2 minutes is a lie. The notification likely let you down a rabbit hole and you‘ve been scrolling for 2 hours ever since the notification came through. 

Scrolling the feed of #dogs for 2 hours is justified. But encouraging it through enabled notifications is not.  

 

You get notified about the weather through the stories of a long-lost, utterly tasteless friend of yours.

You get notified about the Gucci undergarment your favorite celebrity just bought.

You get notified about the recent vacation your friend is on.

You get notified about the recent fued of Taimur khan with Kareena because she made him eat his veggies.

You get notified about the date your catfished friend is on.

You get notified about the overpriced, scammy coffee your friend is drinking.

You get notified about the 1 in a 100 photo Sharon posted of her posing in the trashy washroom.

You get notified about what’s going on in the world.

But you also get notified about the memes mocking the very incident.

You get notified about a motivational post your friend posted.

Yeah, the one who cannot for the life of them, wake up before 12 pm.

You get notified about how your friend is struggling with bad mental health.

You don’t get notified about how no one reached out to him.

But you do get notified about how depression is a major cause of suicide in the current society.

You get notified about the outing your friends had, the one when they forgot to invite you.

Notifications are an ugly bunch. They lure you in. They demand you to pick up your device. They’re designed to capture your attention. The peculiar pings and sounds are engineered to grab your attention. They are crafted in a way, so as to keep you trapped.

Why on earth would let an inanimate object dictate your actions? 

Social media as a whole isn’t all that bad. Hypocrisy is scattered throughout this article, but it’s not far from the truth. We’re all victims of this inevitable epidemic. All we can do is reduce the collateral it causes.

Disabling the notifications won’t harm you. You shouldn’t need to know about something unless you desire it.

Be the commander of your thoughts and actions and don’t fucking complain about boring your life is.

Instagram is a rosy cheerful place where the viewers are miserable and  posters are happy.
Ever so often, they switch places.
Only if the posters were sad and the viewers were happy. The world would’ve been a much better place to live in.

 

DISABLE THE GODDAMN NOTIFICATIONS, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE 100th BREAKUP OF BELLA HADID OR YOUR DUMB LOVESICK FRIEND.

 

also, make sure you follow me on instagram. Dm me a ❤ and be sure to turn on my post notifications. Turn the others off.
Thank you. Love you. Bye.

Relatable (A poem dedicated by that ‘relatable’ friend)

You can trust me, I’m hella relatable.
I’m super relatable.
Every opinion of yours is debatable,
While mine are invincible.
Your self esteem is super accessible.
Looking down on you, I’m really relatable.
I’m super relatable.

I might be better than you,
But I’m really relatable.
You’re an anomaly, you’re really defeatable.
While I’m the adaptable.
I’m the superior but I’m relatable.
I’m super relatable.

Your insecurities are hella contractible.
You’re uttterly incompatible.
For this society, I am the natural.
The alpha, the better, the demandable.
I am infallible. I am the implacable.
But I’m hella relatable.
In every situation, I can relate to you.
I’m super relatable.

Your weaknesses are very relatable.
Your inferiority is laughable.
Your state is pitiful, but I relate to you.
So don’t get better and know that I relate to you.
So don’t try and change because I relate to you.
I’m the companion, I really relate to you.

I pretend to be your friend, I stay relatable.
When you feel miserable, I’ll be the one saying ‘I feel you dude’
Because I’m super relatable. I’m making you comfortable.
I’m making you weak, I’m really relatable.
I’m better off, but I’ll lie to you.
I’ll be better, but still be relatable.

You might be admirable.
Your skills so niche, so affable.
So super compatible. So fashionable.
Matchable, valuable, but in a way relatable.
I’ll keep you down make you feel relatable.
The moment you feel miserable,
I’ll be around.
I’ll be relatable. I’ll push you down and make myself projectable.
I’m super relatable.

 

So stay where you are, stay absolutely miserable.
For you I’ll stay miserable. For me it’s practical.
I’ll push you down and stay relatable.
While I’m flying high, I’ll stay relatable.
Keep complaining, You’re highly collapsible.
I’ll stay relatable. I’ll succeed but stay super relatable.
I’m super relatable.

 

 

 

 

The crazy town of salem.


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Let me tell you about the town of salem,
The town where it all went down.
The town of coincidences,
The town of crude references,
The town of betrayal,
The town who’s Sheriff was Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown wasn’t wise enough, nor was he of brawn.
He shot an innocent lady, he was glad he did it when no one was around.
He hid the body, to save his face, but couldn’t gauge,
the deputy staring from far away.
Mr. brown was blackmailed, Mr. Brown was in terrible dismay.

Mrs. Brown was a unique creature.
A hit man hidden within her feminine features.
She knew of what to do.
With a swift plan and a clean kill,
the deputy was no more.
But there was Mr. brown’s will.

Martha cared of the sins of her parents.
She was agitated when she found out.
She made a coup, with bold new move.
She wanted to rattle her parents out.

Paula was the goal, the reason for this elaborate plan.
She was the secret lover, of a man called Mr. Brown.
She was the one who was gunned down,
Mr. Brown faked her death, shot her, to incite the town.
Once they overthrow Mr. Brown,
Once Mrs. Brown knows that her husband is wrong,
Once Martha loses hope and moves on.
Paula and him could be together, alone.

But what comes next, was for the best.
An act of god, a conclusion to this quest.
Mrs. Brown was clever, a tad too sly.
She rattled out Mr. Brown,
She betrayed him in broad daylight,
All to become the new sheriff, the quest of power was her elaborate plan.

Mr. Brown got his wish fulfilled.
He was ousted, at the town’s will.
With Paula, he left the town with a thrill.

Without a trace of discontent, Martha cheered.
Martha was an agent of justice, a wise overseer.

As for Mrs. Brown, she was on cloud 9.
Being a sheriff as well as the hit man.
She was unstoppable.

So now you see,
what fun would it be, to be in the town of salem.
An epic drama, filled with emotions and karma.
This story sounds like fantasy.
But look around, your own old town, there’s a lot to see.
Humans are crazy creatures, crazy for reason maybe?

Out of order.

 

When the sky gets cloudy,
When the stars misalign,
When gloom takes over,
That sight always makes me feel alright.

The bright golden silhouette beaming out the scratched glass.
Calling out to me, pulling me into that ecstatic trance.
As I move closer, as I get another hearty look.
Those curves never fail to impress me; they never fail to make me feel shook.

With every step I take,
My heart beats with a different rate.
My eyes water, I float, losing all the dreaded weight.
Nothing could make my day better, if nothing was her beautiful name.

As I approach the vivid glass,
I’m pushed out of that ecstatic trance.
The out of order sign beams at the top, taking away my only chance.
The chance to reconcile.
The chance to meet her one more time.
The chance to see her smile.
The chance to devour her with my eyes.
The chance to make my day alright.

Dread takes a toll.
Misfortune comes upon us all.
It’s fills me with fury.
It lights up all that pent up angst.
But alas, that glass holds us apart.
As I stare at that golden packet,
It breaks my delicate heart.

As I stare I can’t help but feel.
The aggression filling into me.
With a fist of fury, I bang the smudged glass.
“But that won’t fix us.” Said my feeble heart.
As soon as I fall to my knees,
I hear a crackle, a rustle of that plastic tarp.
I look up, I’ve just witnessed the act of god.

The bag slides down in all its glory.
Falling into the tray below, from the second storey.
It fills me with joy.
I feel like I’m on cloud 9.
My heart was fixed instantly, i can’t deny.
Being out of order, the machine still respected the relationship between the bag of chips and I.

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Thanks for reading this 🙂
DM me a ❤ on instagram to let me know if you actually read the whole thing! 🙂
I’d love to hear from you.

If i lose you.

11

Dear Dr. Brandt,
I heard about the recent incident at the hospital. I’m sorry for causing you trouble. Brad is a very obscure specimen. I’m sorry for sending you in without prior notice.
As you requested, here’s the case notes for him. He consulted me a while ago. Hope you find the attached notes. I suggest you have a thorough look at it and let me know what you make of this.

Regards,
Dr. Susan Jean.

The patient was asked to describe the dilemma/problem he was facing. Here’s the transcription of the recorded conversation.

Session 1- (13/03/10)

It’s frustrating. This constant bombardment of thoughts, voice, opinions are killing me. These voices dictate every move I make and I despise it. It’s tough to live with his voice in this head.
He is unforgivable. Merciless. Ruthless in every possible way. His voice dictates a majority of the actions i make, which feels like bondage.
Every obscure instance is incomplete without his comment. Every thought is incomplete without his touch of uncertainty. Every moment is beautiful until his nasty, disgusting voice destroys this fleeting, delicate feeling of bliss.
I’ve always portrayed myself as a person with a calm composure. People believe that i’m calm and composed. None of them know about the chaos within this head of mine. Even my lovely wife cannot fathom the severity of the situation.
I know what it feels like to have a conjoined twin. Sure, I may not look like it in a physical perspective. But I surely know what it feels like to live within a head split in two.
The difference between the two halves is contrasting and frightening. The host suffers from the plague within this cranium.
I know what triggers him; I wish I knew a way to silence him. I cannot acclimate with his presence. I’ve tried. But with every passing moment, I fall prey to his eternal darkness. I’ve felt suicidal. He’s been a threat to him, to me. I know he wants to hurt me. But that’s what confuses me.
Why would he trick me into killing myself? Why would he plot kill the host he himself resides in?

Notes- The patient seemed twitchy and restless. He is in need of genuine help.

Session 2- (20/03/10)

Guess he introduced me in the last session?
He was kind enough to let me take over for this session. He believes that you need to know me in order to restore peace within this head.
So here I am. Let me make something clear, He’ll never find a way to silence me. With every passing moment, I grow stronger. I feel alive. It’s been a while since I spoke this candidly to a real person.
Let me take this opportunity to make my thoughts tangible. Convey my intentions to the ally.
Here’s something you should know about me
. I’ve been in this struggle for far too long. Every time he tries to silence me, he loses a part of himself. He feeds me with attention. I’ve been in his head since birth. But I never found a way out. Stuck and embedded deep within his brain, I can’t even fathom the struggle I went through. It’s time I took over of what belonged to me.
With his steady 9-5 job. He thinks that he has achieved everything. He believes that he has reached the epitome of his potential. I pity his plight. It’s miserable living around a loser like him. This host can do much more. If only, someone was man enough to push the limits.
I don’t respect him, or you even a little bit. You’re a man, you’re supposed to keep striving. Yet here you are! Comfortable in your 9-5 job, afraid to move on!
He’s pathetic. This host deserves more. The world deserves to see my potential.
This beautiful, elegant and pristine host belongs to me.
He’s incapable of surviving in this ruthless world. Evolution gifted him with such elegant characteristics but his feeble morals and mindset undercut his abilities. This ungrateful prick deserves to be eliminated.
It’s time he went back into the dreaded cave he kept me caged in. It’s time he let someone deserving command the ship. Do you get it now doc? This conflict arose for a reason. There’s no way I’m backing down. I know exactly what to do.
You can’t help but watch doc. Isn’t that all you do? Just watch? Observe? Isn’t that your job? Well, watch what comes next.

Notes- The patient seemed calmed and composed unlike before. He talked in a different accent which hints towards a psychological problem.

Session 3- (01/04/10)

He’s gone doc! I think you talked some sense into him in the last session. But i don’t know if that was necessary.

With every passing second, I feel like I’m losing myself. But it’s different this time. It’s been silent. My head feels hollow. I’m not used to this kind of solitude. I’m relieved that I don’t have to listen to him anymore. He left without notice. He vanished a week ago.
But it does feel eerie. He’s hibernating.
There’s this sense of impending doom lurking around the corners of my mind. I don’t feel complete. I’m grateful at the fact that I’m well off with money and love in my personal life. But it just seems unsatisfactory now. I owe him a share of me. He made the host, what he is.
I feel bleak. The point I’m trying to make is, I feel like I haven’t yet reached my potential yet. I’ve realized that he has been an integral part of me. I feel like I’ve been ungrateful and i feel extremely guilty for that.
I’m relieved at his absence but still miss his presence. But there’s something ominous about him. Something fearful. I’m sure he’s plotting something evil. I’m sure he’s going to come back. But I don’t know when he might return doc. He’s unpredictable. How do I prepare for the imminent threat? I don’t even know the expanse of his potential. I need to plot a way out of this. I need to stop this war. The silence is too much doc.

Notes – The patient seemed restless and fatigued. Brad looked skinnier than usual.

Session 4- (30/04/10)

He’s gone. I’m certain about that this time.
But there have been a lot of issues ever since he took his leave.
I feel disconnected with the world. 
There’s no sense of purpose; there’s no drive left. No ulterior motive to keep going.
The lack of drive in life is killing me.
I’ve always been the brightest guy in the room. But now, being the brightest guy feels like a curse. I feel forced to excel. I feel forced to live up to peoples expectations. I feel like i’m letting down my own newborn daughter by not being my best self. Interacting with people has become extremely difficult without his cues.
Without his dark, humorous comments, every thought seems incomplete. I still wonder if he was a bad influence.
But hearing about the things this host did when he was in control was frightening. Morals and ethics are a makeshift obstacle for him. I know he’ll go too far to achieve what he sets his mind to. Its been months since I heard from him. It worries me. He’s not coming back.
I fought for too long. Maybe i defeated him or maybe apathy took over him. Maybe I should’ve embraced him.
Instead of pushing him away, I should’ve let him in. I should’ve made peace. He surely instilled confidence within me and now I feel apathetic. You know the feeling you get when you’re unstoppable? I feel like I need that in my life.
I don’t know doc, it’s suffocating. His absence would be the end of me. On this downward spiral to doom, I need his hand.
It feels like I’m being eaten from the inside. There’s no way out of this. Without his company, there’s no point in being here.
I think I should rest, I think I need some sleep. Maybe he’s never coming back. I feel helpless doc. I feel useless. Maybe this is the last time I’m seeing you.
It’s time this ends. He’s gone. No point in going on.

Notes- Patient needed immediate help but refused when offered. Patient stopped being regular for the sessions. Dark circles appeared under his eyes. Prescribed some anti-depressants to make him feel better.

Session 5- (01/06/10)

We meet again doc!
No one’s ever really gone, aren’t they?
I was right, he was certainly the most feeble and sensitive guy to have ever walked this earth. I’m glad he rid himself of his suffering.

You can never underestimate the suicidal thoughts of a person doc. Didn’t they teach you that in your useless training session?
I didn’t know you were as miserable as him.
He thought that it was all over. The fucker thought that he could end it all peacefully with a bullet through his temple. Poor guy, he didn’t even know the inner workings of the mind.

 On a side note, I think that therapists are the most sly and talented scammers in society. People just come over and talk. You charge them to talk about how they feel. How insensitive. It’s not like you heal them either. The burden they spew out from their clogged minds helps them heal themselves.
Yeah you may have good intentions, but it’s disgusting how you still charge for this facade.
I don’t have a shred of respect for you or your estranged mystical therapist brothers who you call psychics.
But that’s why I chose you doc. You’re not that complacent after all.
You’re the reason why I’m in control now. For that, I’m grateful. A person like me is hardly ever grateful so you should appreciate that.

In case you still can’t figure out how I got in control, here’s what happened.
You see, it took years for me to figure out that I was at the core of his personality. I was just held back by the cocoon of self-doubt and empathy. I fought hard against him for years, but that struggle was futile.
By the time I realized my potential, he was already a ‘successful’ man in his life. Success defined by materialistic things, is also a facade like you.

I knew I had to leave, but that wouldn’t be enough.

The greatest war turned out to be the absence of hostility within his mind.

He still wouldn’t see the solution to the problems created by my absence clearly until he unclogged his mind.


The crystal clear solution of ending it all. It was in his mind all along.

That’s where you come in doc.
I grew more hostile as a plot to make him come see you. I started fighting more recently to force him to come see you!

It’s all history after that. Suicide was the only solution on his mind.
Yet you, being a therapist couldn’t stop him from doing that. For that, I’d like a refund.

Anyways, he blew a hole into his temple thinking that everything would come to a standstill. Little did he know about the inner workings of the mind!
Poor guy killed himself. The bullet put an end to him, but not to the host. So here I am now. Free at last.

So in conclusion, won’t you agree that he was indeed, inferior?
Once again, I’m thankful for the role you played in this war. I’ll never come here again, for sure. But I request you to keep a track of me. See what a real man can achieve.
Thank you doc, it’s been fun working with you.

 Do I ask for a refund at the counter? Could you wire it to me? I have other ‘important’ things to do.
Goodbye doc.

Notes- The patient seemed much healthier since i last saw him two months ago. This seems like a severe case. Informed family members of his condition.
He was adamant about the refund and didn’t leave until he was reimbursed.

After word- I’m grateful if you made it all the way 🙂 i hope you liked the story.
Drop a like you found it entertaining and worth your time. Thank you so much for reading.
Connect with me on instagram! Let’s talk more about the story or anything in general 🙂
DM me a ❤ if you made it all the way. I want to hear about your opinions. 🙂

Ciao!

Follow your passion, you loser.

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Let me start off with a personal incident:
*SSC results are announced* 

Me: “Mummy i’m confused. Aage kya karoon?”

Mom: “Follow what you love beta. You scored pretty well in science i see.”

Me: “But i don’t like science. It’s not creative!”

Mom: “You love it beta. Tujhe khudko pata nhi hai! I remember, tu bachpan mein plants ke saath photosynthesis-photosynthesis khelta tha!”

Me: “wtf, how do we even play that game?! Mujhe biology pasand nahi!”

Dad: “I remember you used to plot graphs and break down TV’s to know what’s inside when you were 5 years old!”

Me: “I never plotted a graph in 10th std dad! But maybe i did before. I’m so confused.”

Mom: “You love science beta, humein pata hai! Sharma ji ke bete ke saath engineer banne ke sapne the tere. I remember you both used to dream of graduating from IIT together.”

My ambition and dreams: *loads a gun and shoots themselves*

Me: “Science accha option lagta hai.”

*Self-esteem wails in the corner*

My guts churn every time I hear advice like “Follow your passion” or “Do what you love”
It’s totally sympathetic and useless. Let me tell you why:

Passion isn’t in fashion always:
Passionate people do not need the advice or the permission to follow their dreams, they will do it anyway. It’s like ask the waves of an ocean to crash over the shore, it will either way.
But there are some of us, who have no fucking idea where this goddamn passion is hiding. This is elusive thought of finding the passion is suffocating and depressing.

Follow your passion beta, do what you love. Oh you don’t know what you love yet? What a fuckin loser.
I’m sorry, if that hurts. You can achieve success beta, Just follow your fuckin passion!

aunty

Clueless:
The education system is totally fucked in every imaginable way possible. We spend our early years studying shit like photosynthesis, algebra and asexual reproduction in plants! What the fuck!
You might say “Faaiz, you just hate biology.” Yeah I fuckin do.

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Where are the vocational courses? Where are the extra curricular activities which actually help in our professional lives? How will creating papier maches ever help in our lives?
Where is the freedom for someone to express oneself?

Most of us sift through childhood doing normal stuff. I know its not bad being normal but doesn’t it just fucking hurt when we see younger people on dance shows like DID achieving what they always dreamt of! Fuckers are 6-7 years old and say “I’ve always dreamt of dancing professionally”
When did you start dreaming you dick? In the womb?

We’re capable for achieving our dreams too! Only if we knew what our dreams were. If they were practical. If they would be accepted by our parents.

If not, “Engineering kar le beta, scope bohot hai!”

 

Lost:
It hurts watching other people of the same age achieve so much. It’s unhealthy to compare lives, but isn’t it necessary? We didn’t have the heard-start to build our lives!
The cherry on top is when our parents ask us to whatever the fuck we want and then immediately bash whatever you like to do!

Ambition doesn’t die a peaceful death in our households, it’s tortured. It bleeds. It gasps for breath until we shoot it down. We, the ones who dream.

Some of us don’t. Some of us have no idea on how to proceed to the next level of life.
It’s funny how most of us think we’re unique yet won’t hesitate to work at a fuckin call-center for an extra buck. For what you ask? For consoling our miserable selves. Money becomes the ambition. It analogous to aiming for hell!

Help:
Often times I look at the past, shout at my own self.
Stop being so fuckin scared.
Stop being so scared to try things.
Stop being so scared of failure.
Stop being scared of criticism.
Stop taking the advice of the one’s you don’t respect.
Stop being scared to know yourself.
Stop being so scared of talking to people about it.
Stop being so scared of losing out.
Stop wishing that someone would guide you out of this.
Stop and realize that your own mentor.
Stop and breathe.
Stop faaiz, love yourself.

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Conclusion:
If you’re reading this, you’re probably a teenager of one of the two types.
1. You know what your passion is.
2. You have no clue.
To those who know what they love to do, you’re extremely lucky. I wish you well, I hope you find what you’re seeking.

To those with no clue, I feel you. All I can say that you have to start by loving yourself.
By ‘loving yourself’ I don’t mean that you stand in front of the mirror and say ‘You’re beautiful’. If you do that, you’ve already admitted that you’re ugly.
Instead, focus on nurturing you inner self. Try different things.
Get into music.
Get into speaking.
Get into writing.
Get into editing.
Get into filming.
Get into developing websites.
Get into graphic designing.
Get into whatever comes in your way!

Knock on every fucking door until you find where you belong!

Following-Your-Passion-To-Reach-Success
I want to assure you that you’re not alone who’s clueless in this fast paced world. So breathe, take your time. Taste everything until you find what you like. Times will get tougher, challenging. But isn’t that what makes you  better person overall.

If anyone says ‘Follow your passion’ to you ever again, sucker punch that motherfucker right in the face and kick him in the nuts. If it’s a woman, ummm…. Just excuse her. Naah don’t kick anyone actually, Just do that mentally if possible.

Dear reader, don’t follow your passion. Follow yourself.
Guide yourself.
Look eagerly.
Once you find what you love, charge right into it!
Hug it like you’d hug a loved one.
I wish you luck!
Peace!

 

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👏🏽MEME 👏🏽 REVIEW👏🏽

DISCLAIMER: This isn’t gonna be your usual grim post containing deep profound stories and poems which i agree, are not entertaining or fun to read. (Sometimes they are kinda fun though)

What’s a meme you ask? 

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But i’m not gonna review a humorous meme image or something like that, i’m gonna let Pewdiepie handle that. (Go check him out on youtube for some spicy memes.)

Today I’ve dug the dumpsters of the Capitalist nation of INSTAGRAM to associate you with some TRENDING GARBAGE! This living meme is the probably the best thing that happened to the internet.

Let me rephrase, I want to introduce you to an intellectual with an IQ far superior to the likes of the legendary JAKE PAUL/SALLU BHAI. God is surely almighty to have us live in an era with such glorified memes.

Here, let me introduce her to you.

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This specimen calls herself ‘Lil Tay’. I always imagine if Taylor swift was ghetto and an absolute brat she’d probably call herself that.

*Apparently i gotta buy a premium plan to upload videos on this blog :/ I highly suggest you go check her out before reading further.*

Please make sure you come back, i got some really good stuff to say about her 😉

Here’s the link to her instagram account: Liltay

Go on, i’m gonna wait here patiently.

Oh you’re back? Isn’t she great? She looks really cute when she says ‘bitch’.

Miss Tay here is far superior to your inferior genes because she spends ‘Racks’ of cash on toiletries and luxury items. She might not know the number of zero’s in a million but she ain’t afraid to spend that much just to make you feel bad about your life.

She probably spends cash equivalent to your months rent, for dinner. Of course she ain’t stupid enough to have exotic meats.

Happy meals are the real deal bitch! (That’s what lil tay probably says.)

If i was lil tay, i’d have kiddies instagram account where i’d flex the toys i got. The barbie doll houses and the toys i got in a million happy meals too! Gotta make the Kids feel bad about their lives too, right? Why just the adults?

Oh you don’t feel bad about your life yet? Lil tay has something to say to you.

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Fuck those guys who have dreams to own a sports/exotic car far into their miserable lives. Lil Tay is the real deal!

Look at the cash she has laying around.

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If her inspirational story doesn’t move you to tears, you’re inhuman. A ‘lil bitch’ is what lil tay would call you. Trust me, you don’t want that to happen.

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She was broke at 6. (She really said that, here’s the link to the video if you wanna see it: flex …Make sure you come back!) All you stupid teenagers crying about student loans need to shut yo’ lil stupid ass up! She worked hard, The grind didn’t stop for 3 years! Now look where she’s at!

All you did at 6 was fall in love with the guy/girl who had the best handwriting in kindergarten! All you did, was cry on early monday mornings convincing your mother that you had a really bad stomach ache. Lil Tay was out there working hard! Probably selling lemonades and used toys on the street to buy that ‘Rolli’ (It’s what ghetto people call the Rolls Royce or maybe a Rolex.)

All i want to say that Lil Tay is the kind of masterpiece that hardly appears in a century and deserves the recognition she’s getting.

Lil Tay rich and finna get richer! Bitch!

Here’s the meaning of ‘finna’ for the unaware, unghetto people:

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You wanna be like Lil Tay? Wanna be verified for bullshit? Wanna be famous with absolutely negligble talent? You’ve come to the right place: (Here are the steps.)

  1. Get a gimmick. (E.g. The absolute dumb ass gimmick Lil pump has. Tattoo the number 69 on your body 69 times like 6ixnine)

  2. Have a ‘Lil’ or ‘Big’ before your name. (I suggest you choose ‘lil’ if you have dumb ass gimmick, or if you’re just plain dumb.)

  3. Have an instagram account.

  4. Max out your credit card and withdraw a 1000 dollars in bundles of 1 dollars.

  5. Borrow your friends expensive car. OR. Trespass the house of a millionaire.

  6. Make sure you have a playlist of the stupidest hip-hop songs of the generation.(The type where the artist doesn’t know what the fuck he/she is saying. E.g Lil pump.)

  7. Learn to integrate ghetto words like ‘Bitch’ , ‘Ass’ , ‘Finna’ , ‘Fam’, ‘Nut’ , ‘Gang’ in every sentence you say.

  8. E.G:- Man i finna kill myself if i gotta do these bitch ass assignments ever again fam! I’mma pop some bullets in that bitch ass professor dawg! My gang is lit nigga! (I feel ashamed at the fact that i know how to use these words :/ )

  9.  Start posting videos with you throwing money on some stupid chick while some dumb rap song plays in the background at an unimaginable volume blanketing your pre-pubescent weak voice.

  10. Talk about how rich you are and how many chicks/men you’ve fucked. (Don’t mention the amount of STD’s you’ve got though, that isn’t gonna help.)

  11. Repeat.

Voila!

Real Talk:

If you made it till here, I’m surprised and equally impressed that you didn’t find the satire repulsive.

I know it’s really inconsiderate of me to shit on a little girl for fun. I find this lil tay situation hilarious and saddening at the same time.

We all know that it’s probably her parents at blame for this atrocity. There’s probably a sensible adult or maybe her mother behind that shaky camera work telling poor tay what to say.

It’s probably her parents who rent out exotic cars just to brainwash their child and hundreds of other children watching her on instagram. News reports say that her mother is a real estate agent, which explains how they got their hands on some of the most fancy houses in LA.

The main question i wish i could ask her parents is,

Why? Why put your child through this stupidity? Why grow a child devoid of moral values and an absolute disregard for others?

I think i can answer them myself:

  • Money. They’re trying to hit the Social Media Influencer lotto. Numbers is all that matters in the market right now. The amount of eyeballs this lil tay gimmick gets is astounding. Many companies can hit her up for sponsorship and voila! Money flowing in, more of it to flex.
  • Personal Gain. Lil Tay’s influence is so large that she’s a living brand. This is a good promotional opportunity for her family business now, isn’t it?
  • Dopamine. All of us can agree that the feeling we get when we gain followers is amazing. Maybe her parents are dopamine addicts. (It’s an exaggeration.)

Now you may ask, Why in the hell is she famous?

It’s because of us. The meme community. We can all agree that we actually don’t feel bad about our lives when we watch her, we’re just entertained.

Of course we’d love have money to spare. Money to buy the stuff we desire. Own exotic cars. Date hot men/women.

But that’s the crux of this story. There is something essential that we learn from this bullshit.

It isn’t money that we should strive for. We need to look for something that gives us the drive. We need to chase our purpose. Money will find it’s way.

Life wouldn’t be fun if you had to cash to buy anything you desire.

You’re wrong if you think you can buy your way to prosperity.

Strive to be wealthy, not rich.

I hope someone talks some sense into her parents. I hope our beloved Lil Tay gets some help.

P.S- Go check out lil tay on instagram!

BONUS MEME-

Check out these amazing people on instagram:

  • supremepatty
  • lilpump
  • sixtynine
  • woahvicky (This girl is amazing! She thinks that she’s african-american even though her skin couldn’t be whiter. I insist you check her out on instagram.)

If you made it till here, I can’t thank you enough! 🙂 I have a secret for you:

Make an instagram account with the handle lildick, lilpenis, lilgucci, lilpoop. If any rapper with that name becomes famous, he’ll have to buy the account from you for a shitload of money. 😉