Zero (A poem)

Preface:- The poem is based on an abstract topic.

What is the point of it all?
When a zero means nothing at all.


An absence, A lack of presence, A void.

Zero’s meaning in itself is devoid.

 

But why did it hurt when it appeared as my marks?
Why did it become an indicator, A blip to show how i’m not ‘that’ smart.

I was mocked, scolded and taught to pull through.
Avoid zero like a plague, was the only truth. 

To me the zero is dreadful.
Reminder to a 

Painful, Regretful, Resentful past. 

Years spent on avoiding the plague.
I wonder where my self esteem would be,

If they ever taught me how to learn from mistakes.  

 

No matter how much i despise it.
No matter how dumb i am,
Zero meant trauma, it assured me that ‘i can’t’
But
It meant everything to my suffering aunt.

 

An ailment scorched her perfect life.
Cancer, her hereditary plight.

The plunge into darkness,
Was painful to witness.
She cried, cursed, prayed and believed.

She tried giving up but failed.
She withstood and prevailed.

Zero cancer cells were all that remained. 

 

What is the point of it all?
Does the zero really mean nothing at all?

 

It cursed the life of a dear friend.
He chased the number of zeros at his salary’s end.
Zero days for himself, He was paranoid.
Now only his voice echoes,
In his penthouse that resembles a void.


It brought joy to my struggling dad.
Zero debt, No interest, No cost EMI’s
He tried his best, to quieten my cries.
He afforded the luxuries all my friends had.
The only thing he couldn’t afford.
Was to see me sad.

To me the zero was dreadful.
A reminder to my scar-ridden heart.
A number that keeps things apart.
Like negatives and positives on a number line chart.

 

What is the point of it all?
I am really confused. I’m not that smart.

Maybe 

There is a point to it all.
Zero means something.
Maybe its unique to one and all.

We’ll be the heir.

hospital.jpg

Oh mighty child, what have you done?
In this ruthless world, what have you become?
You were meant to be strong; you were god’s chosen one.
We feel responsible; we’re the cause behind this dreaded outcome.

Oh how blessed we were to see you cry for the first time.
The feeling when we held you for the first time, was sublime.
We sheltered you from the slightest of threats.
You were that tiny drop of love; all that’s left now is regrets.

We couldn’t pick you up every time you fell.
We couldn’t help you, even when you thought you were going through hell.
You had so much to learn, you had so much to yearn.
You were never scared, you never faltered.
But whenever you called out for us; we should’ve answered.
Maybe strength is exhaustive; Maybe it fades with every new scar.
We’re sorry we didn’t help you; we thought it was better to care from afar.

Oh how we wish you never grew up.
Oh how we wish you never stopped crying.
We can’t imagine the pain you went through,
The pain that made you consider dying.

We’re guilty; it’s us who can’t stop crying.
Oh how we wish we go back in time to just hold you,
Oh how we wish we could embrace your weakness instead of denying.

We’re sorry for not being there.
We’re sorry for not sharing your despair.
We’re the killers; we’re the ones god wouldn’t spare.
You were strong, strong enough to hold in more than you could bear.

You’re still the light in this lonely life.
You’re the palm that wipes off these tears.
You’re still our only love.
We’re indebted to have a child like you.

This strength you leave behind won’t be left in despair.
You’ve inherited it to us.
We’ll be its rightful heir. 

Mnemonic

I didn’t know that every second we spent together would be mnemonic representing the worst years of my life”

I talk a lot about heartbreak, maybe it’s one of the major things that have affected me in a peculiar way.

It’s funny how indulging she was. I never realised how ecstatic i was by her presence.

Every moment we spent together became a landmark, a landmark on the road to oblivion.

I regret every moment yet cherish them at the same time. It’s bewildering how situations don’t change, but the person surely does.

(I will span out this epic story of heartbreak over several posts. 🙂 )

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2018/02/11/mnemonic/