Let me start off with a personal incident:
*SSC results are announced*
Me: “Mummy i’m confused. Aage kya karoon?”
Mom: “Follow what you love beta. You scored pretty well in science i see.”
Me: “But i don’t like science. It’s not creative!”
Mom: “You love it beta. Tujhe khudko pata nhi hai! I remember, tu bachpan mein plants ke saath photosynthesis-photosynthesis khelta tha!”
Me: “wtf, how do we even play that game?! Mujhe biology pasand nahi!”
Dad: “I remember you used to plot graphs and break down TV’s to know what’s inside when you were 5 years old!”
Me: “I never plotted a graph in 10th std dad! But maybe i did before. I’m so confused.”
Mom: “You love science beta, humein pata hai! Sharma ji ke bete ke saath engineer banne ke sapne the tere. I remember you both used to dream of graduating from IIT together.”
My ambition and dreams: *loads a gun and shoots themselves*
Me: “Science accha option lagta hai.”
*Self-esteem wails in the corner*
My guts churn every time I hear advice like “Follow your passion” or “Do what you love”
It’s totally sympathetic and useless. Let me tell you why:
Passion isn’t in fashion always:
Passionate people do not need the advice or the permission to follow their dreams, they will do it anyway. It’s like ask the waves of an ocean to crash over the shore, it will either way.
But there are some of us, who have no fucking idea where this goddamn passion is hiding. This is elusive thought of finding the passion is suffocating and depressing.
Follow your passion beta, do what you love. Oh you don’t know what you love yet? What a fuckin loser.
I’m sorry, if that hurts. You can achieve success beta, Just follow your fuckin passion!
The education system is totally fucked in every imaginable way possible. We spend our early years studying shit like photosynthesis, algebra and asexual reproduction in plants! What the fuck!
You might say “Faaiz, you just hate biology.” Yeah I fuckin do.
Where are the vocational courses? Where are the extra curricular activities which actually help in our professional lives? How will creating papier maches ever help in our lives?
Where is the freedom for someone to express oneself?
Most of us sift through childhood doing normal stuff. I know its not bad being normal but doesn’t it just fucking hurt when we see younger people on dance shows like DID achieving what they always dreamt of! Fuckers are 6-7 years old and say “I’ve always dreamt of dancing professionally”
When did you start dreaming you dick? In the womb?
We’re capable for achieving our dreams too! Only if we knew what our dreams were. If they were practical. If they would be accepted by our parents.
If not, “Engineering kar le beta, scope bohot hai!”
It hurts watching other people of the same age achieve so much. It’s unhealthy to compare lives, but isn’t it necessary? We didn’t have the heard-start to build our lives!
The cherry on top is when our parents ask us to whatever the fuck we want and then immediately bash whatever you like to do!
Ambition doesn’t die a peaceful death in our households, it’s tortured. It bleeds. It gasps for breath until we shoot it down. We, the ones who dream.
Some of us don’t. Some of us have no idea on how to proceed to the next level of life.
It’s funny how most of us think we’re unique yet won’t hesitate to work at a fuckin call-center for an extra buck. For what you ask? For consoling our miserable selves. Money becomes the ambition. It analogous to aiming for hell!
Often times I look at the past, shout at my own self.
Stop being so fuckin scared.
Stop being so scared to try things.
Stop being so scared of failure.
Stop being scared of criticism.
Stop taking the advice of the one’s you don’t respect.
Stop being scared to know yourself.
Stop being so scared of talking to people about it.
Stop being so scared of losing out.
Stop wishing that someone would guide you out of this.
Stop and realize that your own mentor.
Stop and breathe.
Stop faaiz, love yourself.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably a teenager of one of the two types.
1. You know what your passion is.
2. You have no clue.
To those who know what they love to do, you’re extremely lucky. I wish you well, I hope you find what you’re seeking.
To those with no clue, I feel you. All I can say that you have to start by loving yourself.
By ‘loving yourself’ I don’t mean that you stand in front of the mirror and say ‘You’re beautiful’. If you do that, you’ve already admitted that you’re ugly.
Instead, focus on nurturing you inner self. Try different things.
Get into music.
Get into speaking.
Get into writing.
Get into editing.
Get into filming.
Get into developing websites.
Get into graphic designing.
Get into whatever comes in your way!
Knock on every fucking door until you find where you belong!
I want to assure you that you’re not alone who’s clueless in this fast paced world. So breathe, take your time. Taste everything until you find what you like. Times will get tougher, challenging. But isn’t that what makes you better person overall.
If anyone says ‘Follow your passion’ to you ever again, sucker punch that motherfucker right in the face and kick him in the nuts. If it’s a woman, ummm…. Just excuse her. Naah don’t kick anyone actually, Just do that mentally if possible.
Dear reader, don’t follow your passion. Follow yourself.
Once you find what you love, charge right into it!
Hug it like you’d hug a loved one.
I wish you luck!
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